Who's Now...who cares

The lack of quality programming on ESPN has forced them to come up with a list of personalities in the sports world who they and the viewers consider to be "Who's Now."

What does this even mean?

ESPN says:

" [Who's Now] is a daily series in which fans and ESPN.com users will help "SportsCenter" determine the ultimate sports star by considering both on-field success and off-field buzz. Based on fan nominations, ESPN Research will select the 32 finalists, who will then square off in a single-elimination bracket. Before then, however, we need to hear who you think should be in the bracket. Check out the Page 2 list and then discuss in the ESPN Conversation pages."

Who gives a shit who "ultimate sports star" is? What does that accomplish? Does it let kids know who's jersey to buy? "Ohhhhh mom, can I get a Kobe Bryant jersey? He's the most 'Now' player!" Yikes.

Here is a list of players ESPN has dubbed worthy enough to put on the top tier list.

1. Tiger Woods- Blah

2. Peyton Manning- Looks good in moustache

3. Tom Brady- Fathered a bastard child

4. LaDainian Tomlinson- Waco?

5. LeBron James- Choke artist

6. Roger Federer- Tennis, nobody cares

7. Kobe Bryant- Rapist

8. Sidney Crosby- Who?

9. Steve Nash- Badass Cracker

10. Maria Sharapova- Tennis, nobody cares

So, more than likely, one of these ten will be crowned the "Most Now" player, unless the voting populous sneaks a darkhorse candidate like Tim Tebow. He's my vote.